just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
