Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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