there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
