Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
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