This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I have fence marks all over my body
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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