the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
