The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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