It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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