ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
