How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize