In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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