Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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