omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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