What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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