What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
So. Much. Porn.
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