I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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