just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
