I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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