I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize