Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
