Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
