i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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