think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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