Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
