you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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