I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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