I just saw a hot homeless man
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
NoShamevember. You game?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
