how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
