a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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