tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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