Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize