it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
