It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
he told me I talked like a deaf person
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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