i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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