She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Sex in the backyard? Check.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
