FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize
