Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
