you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
