Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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