Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize