So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
