I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize
