i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
