think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
