Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize