meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize