hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize