He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
