I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
