If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
