First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
