do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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