I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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