I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
