even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Randomize
