Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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