I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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